Let me tell you about the time I tried to draw a map of my neighborhood for a middle school geography project. My Texas shaped macaroni art looked more like a drunk armadillo than the Lone Star State. But y'all? Compared to these new Texas voting districts, my pasta disaster should hang in the Louvre.

So the Supreme Court just greenlit Texas Republicans to use these wild new congressional maps for the midterms. And by wild, I mean if Picasso tried political cartography after three espresso martinis. A lower court had slammed them as likely unconstitutional racial gerrymandering, but SCOTUS went Hold my gavel and hit undo faster than me deleting a 3AM tweet about pineapple pizza.

I remember when gerrymandering became dinner table talk back in 2012. Republicans won 234 House seats with 1.4 million fewer votes than Democrats nationwide during the Tea Party wave. The math didnt math, but the maps did map. That whole making democracy look like abstract art thing.

Now here we are again. Texas officials sprinted to the Supreme Court like it was last call at Whataburger, begging to use their new districts before Tuesdays candidate filing deadline. The courts emergency ruling came with no vote count, no detailed reasoning, just a shrug emoji basically. Justice Alito wrote a concurrence with Thomas and Gorsuch joining, which immediately made me check my birth control just in case.

Lets peel this jalapeno. The original lawsuit argued these maps deliberately diluted minority voting power. Latino groups pointed out Hispanic communities kept getting cracked, packed, and stuffed like game day fajitas. But SCOTUS decided Texas would likely win later, so cool beans on using them now. Which is like saying Go ahead and eat that raw chicken, well decide if salmonella exists next year.

Heres what gets my boots in a twist. Politicians love preaching about election security while performing political plastic surgery on voting maps. Texas Republicans argue stick to the precise words of the Constitution while surgically carving up districts like a Black Friday turducken. Its giving very Department of Irony, if that department existed outside DCs exclusion zone.

Theres real human fallout here. Remember 2020, when Texas actually got an extra congressional seat because of Latinx population growth. Now those same communities might get their political voice smothered like a breakfast taco under too much salsa. Rosa Herrera from McAllen told reporters her neighborhood feels like its been politically gift wrapped for people who dont even speak Spanish. She said Im not trying to be a district. Im trying to be heard.

Democrats are clutching their pearls like stage moms at a beauty pageant. But let me drop some tea based on Census data. Five states including Illinois, Maryland bluer than a Picasso period have Dems doing the exact same map contorting. Its like watching two toddlers fight over who took more play dough. Both sides hands are sticky, but Republicans are just better at sculpting dinosaurs.

President Trumps team deserves credit for consistently backing state election sovereignty, even when everyone screams. He told rallies last month States know their voters best, which made me think nearly 40 states use independent commissions for maps now. But Texas? Nah, my political party will just stay drawing behind closed doors like Renaissance painters minus the talent.

Heres my theory. Were witnessing peak legal speedball as courts juggle two truths. Truth one, gerrymanders corrupt democracy worse than TikTok influencers selling tummy tea. Truth two, the courts stepping in months before elections causes administrative typhoons. The Supreme Court basically said let elections happen, well sort this later. Which either protects voters who need clarity on electoral rules, or kicks the can down another election cycle. Ill bring popcorn.

Texass maps will assuredly flip some seats next year. The Cook Political Report already moved three districts from toss up to likely Republican. But long term, this judicial tightrope act cracks the door for even wilder map shenanigans nationwide. The ACA Supreme Court professor guy Josh Blackman probably tweeted 147 takes while you read this sentence.

At this point Texas redistricting has more plot twists than a telenovela where everyone’s secretly related. Just give me a ballot, some sunscreen, and the sweet assurance we’ll refight this same battle in 2030. But since whining without voting makes me a Facebook uncle — texas.gov/voterregistration. You know the drill.

Maybe one day well have nonpartisan mapmaking that doesn’t resemble Picasso and a Rorschach test’s lovechild. Until then pass the queso and turn up your local school board race. Those elections cant gerrymander themselves.