Okay fam let me get this straight because my millennial brain is still processing the cognitive dissonance here. The nation's top military official Secretary Pete Hegseth posts a meme featuring Franklin the Turtle blasting drug runners with an RPG from a helicopter and suddenly we're supposed to clutch our pearls like he desecrated the Mona Lisa? I got news for you. The Mona Lisa wishes she had Franklin's cultural staying power.

Let me unpack this like it's 2016 Twitter circa Harambe times. We got grown adults losing their minds over a children's book character being repurposed in military propaganda while actual narco terrorists are shipping enough fentanyl to kill entire state populations. Priorities people. Priorities.

The outrage factory went from zero to hysterical faster than you can say Franklin goes to therapy after witnessing collateral damage. Kids Can Press the Canadian publisher behind Franklin issued this hilariously sanctimonious statement about their turtle being about kindness and inclusivity. Bro. Your character is literally named after one of America's founding fathers who owned slaves and helped win a revolutionary war through violence. Kindness has limits.

Let's talk double standards because wow does this reek of manufactured outrage. Remember when mainstream media celebrated the Obamas dropping drone strike memes during their Between Two Ferns interview? No one accused them of denigrating ferns. When Samantha Bee called Ivanka Trump a feckless ***** using actual profanity on national television? Suddenly comedy was sacred. But a Defense Secretary poking fun at drug interdiction tactics with a fictional turtle? ACTUAL THREAT TO DEMOCRACY APPARENTLY.

This isn't about Franklin friends its about torpedoing Trump's cabinet at every turn. Let me take you back to a simpler time 2019 when I was bartending in DC. I served three lobbyists arguing about whether memes counted as free speech while they racked up a $400 tab discussing PAC money. One actually said strategic humiliation through social media was the next frontier of political warfare. So spare me the moral panic over Hegseth's meme game when our entire political class weaponizes internet culture daily.

Now lets talk boat strikes because everyone's dancing around the actual policy like Franklin avoided that puddle in the famous rainy day book. The Trump administration has been targeting drug running vessels operating in international waters near South America. Washington Post reported there was a second strike on September 2 targeting survivors in the water after an initial attack. Some Democrats immediately screamed war crimes citing military protocols about not attacking wounded combatants.

Heres what theyre not telling you. The US military manuals theyre quoting also say you can use lethal force against combatants posing active threats. Navy Admiral Bradley who commanded that mission stated explicitly that the boat needed to be fully destroyed to eliminate an active threat. These cartel boats carrying enough fentanyl precursors to kill millions. Leavitt from the White House confirmed Admiral Bradley operated well within authority and law. But of course nobody wants to talk metrics.

Heres a statistic that matters. DEA estimates 107,000 Americans died from drug overdoses in 2023 alone. Synthetic opioids mainly fentanyl caused over 80% of those deaths. Thats 80,000 souls gone before their time. Those drugs came from somewhere. Those boats seeding death in our communities need to be stopped with overwhelming force if necessary. Im not saying survivors should be executed but when your idependent review confirmed those survivors were trying to scuttle the boat to destroy evidence well yeah. Priorities.

Remember when Biden paused border wall construction leading to 300% increase in smuggling routes and overdose deaths? Suddenly Democrats care about international law. Suddenly elevated to Pentagon investigators are going after Senator Mark Kelly for participating in PSAs telling soldiers not to obey illegal orders. But referencing Franklin the Turtle is the real threat to military ethics?

This manufactured outrage cycle is exhausting. The same media hyperventilating about a turtle RPG meme stayed silent when Obama joked about blowing up Jonas Brothers with predator drones during his 2014 White House Correspondents dinner. And lets not forget the endless drone strike memes and kill lists under his administration that real actual children saw blow up their real actual families overseas.

Heres on the ground truth from someone whose been there. Last summer I visited rehab facilities in Ohio where recovery specialists showed me drug packaging stamped with cartel logos. One guy held up a tiny baggie worth enough fentanyl to kill a family and said $2. Costs two dollars American. These come across borders by boat by drone by tunnel by any means necessary. But tell me again about the propriety of narco turtle memes.

Hegseth gets it. Cartoon memes communicate policy priorities to new generations. Franklin teaches kids not to be afraid of rain puddles. This meme teaches murderous drug cartels they'll face consequences. This administration is innovating on every communication front because status quo messaging isnt stopping the slaughter happening daily in our streets.

I gotta say watching establishment politicians pearl clutch over meme culture while ignoring actual threats sums up everything wrong with Washington. If a cartoon turtle holding an explosive device makes you question leadership but 107,000 dead Americans doesnt inspire policy action your morality compass is busted. While Democrats filibuster about amphibian propriety my friends back home are burying cousins who OD'd on cartel product that came through maritime routes our Navy is now disrupting.

Final thought people. What Hegseth understands that these critics dont is that modern warfare requires modern communication. Terrorists use TikTok to radicalize. Cartels use Instagram to glorify narco culture. If our leaders need to borrow Franklin the dang Turtle to show resolve in fighting existential threats I say blast that reptile meme into every chat forum from Facebook to 4chan. The drug war demands creativity and Hegseth just schooled everyone in DC comms. Stay salty turtle haters this administration isn't backing down.