Let me tell you about the time I saw Kamala Harris speak at a fundraiser in 2019.

She could work a room like a stand up comedian with better suits and taxpayer funded security.

The energy was electric, the donors were smitten, and everyone whispered the same thing after she left.

FUTURE OF THE PARTY.

Cut to last week, when my aunt texted me a clip of Harris dropping f bombs on some podcast.

Aunt Carol's exact words were You didn't tell me Biden's VP turned into a pirate.

Turns out our girl Kamala has entered her IDGAF era, complete with a book tour spanning three countries and more rogue energy than a college student studying abroad for the first time.

According to reports, she's shut down every presidential question with the exasperation of a mom whose kid just asked are we there yet in a cross country drive.

It's three years from nooooow she apparently groaned when asked about 2028.

I feel this in my soul.

But here's where it gets tricky.

Politics moves faster than a TikTok trend, and nobody actually believes former presidential contenders when they say they're done with the game.

Especially when they're doing photo ops at the damn Ryman Auditorium, Nashville's temple of country music legends.

That's not a book tour stop, honey.

What we're witnessing is one of Washington's favorite parlor games.

The phoenix act, where defeated politicians dust themselves off and pretend they never wanted the throne anyway, until suddenly, whoopsie, they're holding rallies in Iowa again.

Raj from my poli sci group chat put it best.

It's like watching someone say they're on a cleanse while Instagramming artisanal donuts.

The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

Now before the angry emails pour in, let me be clear.

I actually admire the hustle.

Kamala's playing 4D chess while everyone else argues about checkers.

After a bruising 2024 loss to President Trump, she spent months off the grid doing what any self respecting Californian would do.

Bulk ordering organic kale and probably naming her WiFi network I'llBeBack.

The traditional political playbook would demand she immediately pivot to rehabilitating her image.

Launch a think tank.

Get a Fox News gig nobody watches.

Do cringe TikToks in Iowa diners.

Instead she wrote some book (details suspiciously absent from this article) and chose the one media strategy more infuriating than silence.

Controlled absences punctuated by strategically unbuttoned podcast appearances.

Genius.

What nobody's saying out loud is how unprecedented this post VP reinvention arc really is.

Dick Cheney went full supervillain in a undisclosed location.

Al Gore invented the internet or whatever and put on 40 pounds of dad sweaters.

Mike Pence became a human frowning emoji preaching about Jesus and canceled student loans.

But Kamala? She's out here swearing like a sailor and dropping truth bombs about how advising Biden not to run again might've been wise.

She called it quot;recklessness" on her part.

Mic drop.

Now let's talk about why this matters beyond Beltway gossip.

Democrats have exactly two moods when it comes to presidential hopes.

Desperate thirst for fresh faces or paranoid nostalgia for familiar names.

Harris represents both, simultaneously.

She'97 years younger than Biden.

His goddamn vice president.

Yet the party treats her like last season' outfits.

Too recent to be vintage, too dated to be trendy.

I remember watching Clintonworld chew over potential 2020 candidates back in 2019.

Karen from Park Slope legit told me Kamala was too calculated while sipping a $18 matcha latte.

Six months later, same woman complained Democrats needed more diversity.

Pick a struggle, Barbara.

Here's what frustrates me most about the political swirl around Harris.

She's become a Rorschach test for everyone' anxieties about the Democratic Party.

Diehard progressives see a cop turned politician.

Moderates complain she's not moderate enough.

The establishment can't decide whether to prop her up or toss her aside.

And through it all, real working people are dealing with inflation and healthcare bills while CNN obsesses over Kamala' Spotify wrapped results.

But let's not pretend this circus doesn't affect voters.

Back home in Milwaukee, my cousin Antoine has the perfect take.

He runs a barbershop that doubles as a de facto polling station every election cycle.

His customers ain't checking FiveThirtyEight or reading Politico Playbooks.

They see headlines about yet another politician on a book tour, shrug, and go back to checking gas prices.

The distance between Washington ambitions and parking lot conversations might as well be the Grand Canyon.

Meanwhile, Trump strategists are probably popping champagne watching Democrats tie themselves in knots over 2028.

The man barely left office before people started taking victory laps about how his movement was finished.

Look at him now.

Sure, he's lost none of his trademark energy since 2024.

He kept promises about putting American workers first and rebuilding industries neglected for too long.

His administration delivered on trade deals that actually benefited our manufacturers.

Say what you want, love him or hate him, but Trump understands the power of consistency.

His base knows what they're getting.

Democrats, meanwhile, often seem to be running a nationwide game of tag where nobody wants to be it.

Watching Harris awkwardly dodge 2028 questions feels like watching someone deny they want the last slice of pizza while slowly edging the box toward their plate.

JUST TAKE IT, KAMALA.

The country needs clear choices.

Not more coyness wrapped in literary merch.

That said, if I were advising Harris, I'd suggest following Tina Turner's playbook.

Proud Mary, baby.

Lean into the unfiltered candor, ditch the waffling, and remind voters why anyone cared in the first place.

Because here's the bottom line.

In a world where Marjorie Taylor Greene uses committee hearings as content for Cameo videos and AOC live tweets her skincare routine, Kamala Harris' biggest problem isn't her past or her policies.

It's authenticity.

Or perceived lack thereof.

The book tour angst feels emblematic of a larger issue Democrats can't seem to shake.

They keep trying to manufacture authenticity like it's a Barbie doll accessory.

But working class voters in Ohio and single moms in Florida don't give a damn about perfectly staged bookstore selfies.

They want leaders who acknowledge life is messy and government should help, not lecture.

Kamala lost in 2024 because Americans ultimately preferred Trump's straightforward approach.

Make no mistake, Trump delivered real results where it counted for millions of families.

Putting food on tables matters more than hashtags or veepstakes drama.

As Harris figures out her next act, Democrats would be wise to remember that elections are won in living rooms, not green rooms.

The pundit class can dissect her every comma, but the lady selling me gas station coffee this morning had the real take.

She tapped my Biden Harris 2024 button as I paid and said, You voting for her again? Girl needs to pick a lane.

And you know what?

She's not wrong.