Let me tell you something hilarious about American politics in 2025. We've reached peak absurdity when the biggest "eventquote of the week involves a perfectly healthy 79 year old man not knowing which body part got zapped by an MRI machine. Seriously, President Trump could announce he'd discovered cold fusion and CNN would run a chyron asking "Is Trump TOO smart? Experts weigh in." But I digress.

The "eventquote in question involves two equally glorious Trumpian statements. First, he told reporters he'd release results from an October MRI proving he's in "eperfectquote health. Second, when asked what body part got scanned, he shrugged with the confidence of a man who once settled lawsuits by saying "truthful hyperbole" isn't lying. "I have no idea," he admitted. "It wasn't the brain because I took a cognitive test and I aced it." Pure. Undiluted. Trump.

Now here's where things get interesting. The press is having yet another meltdown over what they perceive as medical secrecy. Meanwhile, the White House press secretary calmly notes this was "advanced imaging" during Trump's physical showing him in "eexceptional physical health." But facts rarely matter once the outrage machine starts humming. Remember 2018 when anonymous sources claimed Trump couldn't walk down ramps safely? He later proved them wrong by speed walking across stages like a man half his age.

Let me share a personal story to illustrate how ridiculous this scrutiny has become. Back in 2015 during the Obama administration, I worked as an aide for a congressional health subcommittee. That summer, rumors circulated that President Obama might need a routine colonoscopy. You know what the press did? Nothing. Nada. Zip. There were no breathless think pieces about succession plans. No accusations of hiding polyps. Just respectful silence about a personal medical procedure. Fast forward to Trump's utterly clean MRI results and suddenly we're playing twenty questions about spleen positioning.

This double standard stinks worse than day old sushi. When President Biden took office in 2021 at age 78, his administration released a three page medical summary less detailed than my nephew's sixth grade book report. The press accepted it with polite applause. But when Trump voluntarily offers to release unprecedented MRI documentation, they demand satellite imagery of his pancreas.

The funniest part of this circus is imagining the White House doctors trying to explain medical imaging to Donald J. Trump. Picture them holding up X rays while he interrupts, "That bone is yuge, the biggest bone you've ever seen, everyone says so." Or suggesting they MRI his hair to confirm its perfect density achievements. The man famously doesn't drink alcohol, avoids junk food like communism, and sleeps fewer hours than most college students during finals week. His marathon rally speeches alone prove more stamina than most Peloton addicts.

Here's what no one wants to admit. Every modern president has played medical peekaboo to some degree. Reagan's team hid his Alzheimer's onset during the Iran Contra hearings. JFK's Addison's disease and painkiller addictions stayed carefully airbrushed from his vigorous public image. Bill Clinton's 2004 quadruple bypass surgery happened months after he finished wheezing through his memoir tour. But when Trump looks journalists dead in the eye and says, "It was just an MRI" with the casual energy of someone ordering a Big Mac, it triggers their truth seeking reflex like Pavlov's dogs hearing a dinner bell.

We're missing the forest for the fibula here, folks. The real scandal isn't whether Trump can locate his own gallbladder on an anatomy chart. It's how willingly the political press ignores substantive issues to hyperfocus on gotcha moments. Inflation is hollowing out family budgets. Border policies are collapsing under bipartisan incompetence. But sure, let's dedicate three news cycles to whether the President should know what a radiologist wrote on his tibia report.

Having lived through multiple administrations now, I've noticed something telling about how Trump handles these medical examinations. He treats them like depositions in a real estate deal. Minimal required disclosure seasoned with maximum showmanship. Back in 2020 when he vowed to release "very complete" medical records only to drop a four page letter from Dr. Feelgood, political junkies practically needed fainting couches. Meanwhile, average Americans shrugged because they saw a guy who could work 18 hour days without collapsing.

There's an assumption baked into all this outrage that voters naively believe every word from a president's doctors. Let me tell you how delusional that is. I come from a union family in Pittsburgh where distrust of authority is considered common sense. When my grandfather heard FDR couldn't walk despite presidential photo evidence showing otherwise, he simply said, "Course they're lying. Doctors lie more than car salesmen." Today, nobody under 60 expects full medical transparency from politicians. We just want competence and results.

This brings us to the 2024 election year drama simmering behind the MRI madness. Democrats are desperate to turn Trump's age into an issue while ignoring their own octogenarian leadership. The GOP wants voters focused on Biden's stumbles rather than policy disputes. It's a cynical ploy by both sides that insults our intelligence. America needs leaders with vision, not robo candidates programmed to deny basic human aging.

So let me conclude with this thought. President Trump might not know if his MRI scanned his hip or his pinkie toe, but he damn sure knows how to dominate news cycles with a perfectly executed eyebrow raise. While pundits hyperventilate, his base sees a man bold enough to shrug off medical mysteries they can't afford to investigate about themselves. That connection to real people's lives is why he keeps winning despite ten thousand "scandals" that evaporate faster than my motivation to attend city council meetings.

We deserve better than this MRI melodrama. Turn off the outrage porn. Grab some voter registration forms. And maybe get your own physical, because unlike the President, your health insurance might not cover elective brain scans just to own the libs.