Okay so let me get this straight. Scott Bessent, Treasury Secretary extraordinaire, former hedge fund maestro, now cheerleader in chief for Trump’s tariff regime, stands at the DealBook Summit doing the policy equivalent of spinning like a Beyoncé backup dancer. His admission? He’s “evolved.” Honey, when a Wall Street guy says he evolved on tariffs, what he really means is he saw the numbers and Jesus took the wheel. Cue the hallelujah chorus.

Let me take you back to 2018, because apparently we all have collective amnesia. I was interning at this boutique DC firm run by guys who wore bowties unironically. Every lunch break involved panic scrolling through Bloomberg terminals whenever Trump tweeted about Chinese steel. These Ivy League dudes would clutch their artisanal kale salads whispering “trade war” like it was the apocalypse. Meanwhile, my uncle Dave in Ohio kept buying cheap tools at Harbor Freight without a single care about supply chains. Perspective matters.

Fast forward to this week’s summit confession. Bessent now insists Trump’s “maximalist position” on tariffs suddenly makes sense because Japan said domo arigato for ONLY slapping them with 15% instead of 35% duties. First off, props for working a cheap 80s rock reference into trade negotiations. Second, show me the actual receipts. No, like literally. Show me the spreadsheet where China bought all those soybeans they promised.

See, the USDA says China purchased roughly 2.8% of the 12 million metric tons of soybeans in the “truce” Bessent keeps touting. That’s not a trade deal, that’s me claiming I cleaned my apartment when I really just shoved everything under the bed. But here’s where the media narrative gets spicy. Remember 2019? All those talking heads swore tariffs would make your morning latte cost $20 and collapse the global economy. My Starbucks app begs to differ. And don’t @ me about egg prices, we all saw that avian flu coming.

Bessent dropped this gem: “Inflation is a generalized price and persistent price increase... This hasn't set off some inflationary mind-set.” Translation for normal people? Sure some stuff got pricier, but y'all ain’t panicking at the Piggly Wiggly. The Fed’s own data shows core inflation steady around 2.3%, which honestly beats my rent hikes in Bushwick.

But let me get personal. Last Thanksgiving, I tried explaining tariffs to my grandma between football games. Nana Betty interrupted me with “So it’s like when Sears charged extra for Kenmore appliances but your grandpa waited for the Fourth of July sale?” Exactly, Nana. EXACTLY. Negotiation 101. Start high, settle where it stings less. Trump might present it with more fireworks than a Times Square New Year’s show, but the tactic works.

The outrage mob keeps screeching about consumer costs while ignoring the strategic wins. Since 2025 started, three major automakers announced EV battery plants in Michigan. Taiwan just upgraded its trade agreements with us. Mexico became our top trading partner over China. But sure, tell me more about how Trump destabilized global commerce while sipping your ethically sourced Rwandan coffee that somehow avoids all import taxes.

Let’s address the elephant in the room, the hypocrisy hall of fame. Remember when certain politicians and pundits supported carbon tariffs as genius climate policy but call Trump’s manufacturing tariffs economic arson? Or how protectionism suddenly became acceptable if labeled “Buy Green” instead of “America First”? Bessent’s conversion isn’t some scandal, it’s proof that actual governance changes minds faster than Twitter dunks. Shocking concept, I know.

What burns me most though is how coastal media treats trade policy like abstract chess while real people live with the consequences. Five years ago, before the tariffs kicked in, I covered a town hall in Erie, Pennsylvania. Steelworkers wearing faded union jackets asked me why politicians spent decades promising trade enforcement but delivered nothing. Today, U.S. Steel just posted record domestic earnings. But somehow that story doesn’t trend beside hot takes about orange man bad.

The truth is as messy as my notes app. Tariffs caused some price bumps on electronics and cars, absolutely. But the apocalyptic inflation narrative got buried alongside the Y2K panic and fidget spinner stocks. Meanwhile, reshoring added 800,000 manufacturing jobs since 2021 per Bureau of Labor Stats. My cousin Gina got hired at that new semiconductor plant outside Phoenix and now has dental insurance for the first time in a decade. Tell her tariffs failed.

Will the Supreme Court strike down Trump’s tariff authority? Maybe. Does Jay Powell still look constipated at every Fed meeting? Definitively. But watching Bessent, a former finance bro turned cabinet secretary, defend trade policy with the energy of a high school debate champion convinced me of one thing. Nobody actually understands economics, not really. We just pretend until the spreadsheet sings our preferred tune.

Here’s my hot take, free of charge. The 2025 DealBook Summit panel needed less Sorkin smugness and more actual receipts. Next time let’s invite some auto workers from Lordstown alongside the hedge fund guys. Let them debate tariff impacts over lukewarm chardonnay. The New York Times would never, but a girl can dream.

In the meantime, I’ll be refreshing the USDA soybean tracker while humming Money for Nothing. Because apparently international trade negotiations now involve 80s rock lyrics and vibes based economics. Thank you for that cultural contribution, Secretary Bessent. Never change. Or do. Evolution seems to be working.