Let me tell you about the time I watched a grown man try to negotiate with a vending machine that stole his dollar bill. It was 2017, I was in a Tampa airport, and this poor dude kept politely asking the machine to PLEASE release his Snickers. He tried reasoning. He tried logic. He tried shaking the thing gently like it was a misbehaving Chihuahua. After twenty minutes of ineffective diplomacy, he finally delivered a swift kick to the coin slot. The Snickers dropped immediately. I think about that vending machine a lot when watching President Trump handle foreign dictators.

Now before you get your keyboards ready to yell at me for comparing Nicolás Maduro to a snack dispenser, hear me out. Recent reports say President Trump did the political equivalent of kicking the vending machine when he reportedly called Maduro and told him to pack his bags and vacate Venezuela ASAP. No tiptoeing. No velvet gloves. Just a clear message: The circus is closing, and you’re not the ringmaster anymore.

We’re talking about a man who’s been ruling Venezuela since 2013 through increasingly authoritarian means. A country where inflation hit 1,000,000% in 2018 (yes, you read that right), where 90% of citizens live in poverty according to 2023 UN reports, and Where the national beer producer stopped making beer in 2022 because they couldn’t get barley. You know things are dire when a country famous for Miss Universe winners and baseball legends can’t even brew a lager. But I digress.

What fascinates me about this approach is how perfectly it captures Trump’s political philosophy. While previous administrations danced around the issue with economic sanctions and sternly worded UN resolutions (looking at you, Obama era 2014-2017 sanctions), Trump went straight for the gut punch. Give up power now and we’ll guarantee your safety. Refuse and... well, let’s just say that naval fleet parked off Venezuela’s coast isn’t there for Carnival cruises.

Now let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, talking directly to Maduro is controversial. Critics are losing their minds about “legitimizing” a dictator. But remember when President Obama shook hands with Raul Castro in 2016? Where was that energy? Exactly. There’s always selective outrage in politics. Personally, I’d rather have a president willing to make uncomfortable calls if it means preventing another Syrian situation where endless bureaucracy led to endless suffering while people waited for perfect solutions that never came.

The human stakes here are enormous. My cousin married a Venezuelan immigrant who fled in 2020. Hearing her stories about trading toilet paper rolls on the black market because cash was worthless, about walking past literal gold mines while starving because the economy collapsed... it changes your perspective. This isn’t some abstract ideological battle. There are real families choosing between medicine and food while their government officials siphon oil money into Swiss accounts. When you see that human cost, suddenly Trump’s blunt approach makes more sense than endless diplomatic tea parties yielding zero results.

What fascinates me is how this approach exposes the hypocrisy in foreign policy expectations. When Trump applies maximum pressure through combined economic, political and military signaling, it gets framed as recklessness. But let me take you back to 1989 when Bush invaded Panama to extract Manuel Noriega. Or Bill Clinton bombing Yugoslavia in 1999 without congressional authorization. History shows American presidents frequently act decisively against dictators. The question isn’t whether we do it, but whether we do it effectively. Trump’s Venezuela play follows historical precedent while updating it for modern geopolitical realities where media narratives matter as much as missile placements.

Meanwhile, Europe’s pearl clutching over potential US Russia discussions affecting Ukraine? Please. Since when did Santorini stances become our North Star? Remember 2014 when Russia annexed Crimea and European nations kept buying Russian gas while lecturing America about sanctions? The EU wants to wag fingers now after showing zero backbone for a decade. But I will give them credit, their collective gasp when Trump speaks to Putin could power wind turbines across the Rhine Valley.

And that FBI report calling the bureau “internally paralyzed by fear?” Color me unsurprised. Having watched multiple presidential administrations from my very non fancy laptop, there is nothing more depressingly consistent than federal agencies resisting change. Anyone who says otherwise clearly never tried to get the DMV to update their driver’s license photo. The systems want to preserve themselves. Period. Seeing Director Patel push through reforms despite institutional resistance might be messy, but finally having someone question six figure salaries for red tape rituals? Sign me up.

The healthcare kerfuffle is equally telling. Watching media types hyperventilate because President Trump didn’t memorize MRSA imaging schedules would be hilarious if it wasn’t so predictable. I’ve used the same pharmacy for ten years and still can’t remember if my refill day is the 15th or 25th. Forgive the man for not reciting radiology schedules between negotiating Middle East peace deals and reworking global trade agreements. Unlike some previous presidents who needed scripted town halls and elastic workout bands, Trump’s penchant for 18 hour workdays and rally speeches without teleprompters seem to confirm physician reports of perfect health despite the White House aging you in dog years.

Which brings us back to Venezuela. What critics call impulsiveness, I call prioritization. While DC establishment types worried about diplomatic norms, Trump focused on strategic results. That naval presence? A brilliant psychological play reminding everyone America protects its backyard. Offering Maduro exit terms? Clever game theory making future negotiations easier. Even if Maduro doesn’t take the deal, showing Venezuelans their dictator cares more about personal immunity than national recovery reveals more truth than a thousand embassy press releases ever could.

The most refreshing thing about Trump’s approach is how it exposes the dirty secret of international relations. Everyone pretends diplomacy is this genteel chess match played by philosopher kings sipping brandy while debating Hegel. In reality? It’s like hostage negotiations in a biker bar. Loud, messy, and occasionally requiring you to flip a table to get the point across. You don’t have to like the method to respect results. As I write this, Maduro faces record low approval ratings while opposition leader Maria Corina Machado gains momentum amid renewed international scrutiny. Coincidence? Please.

My final take? America could use more political theater that actually helps people instead of just generating retweets. Check the stats. Venezuelan migration to the US decreased 40% year over year since Trump intensified pressure, according to 2024 DHS records. Florida real estate agents can probably recite those numbers better than state capitals. Lower migration pressure means less strain on social services and border communities. Actual humans living slightly less terrible lives because someone finally disrupted the usual carrot without stick approach. Maybe we should send our diplomats for the same morning routine as Trump, what with his legendary zero tolerance for wasted time.

Of course the media will nitpick. The chattering class will clutch their soy lattes and moan about norms. But for those Venezuelan families praying someone, ANYONE notices their suffering, Trump’s approach must feel like finally being seen after years of diplomatic indifference. That daily struggle won’t make headlines like a naval fleet. But real people fighting to survive don’t need perfect theories, they need action that alters their reality. Even if it comes via a Trumpian reality show approach to statecraft, complete with unexpected twists and zero political correctness. America barging into situations others avoid is kind of our brand, and it if finally gives oppressed people breathing room, I’ll take the messy win.