Let me paint you a familiar scene. Tech company unveils Thing That Should Be Cool But Costs More Than Your First Car. Press releases promise revolutionary features. Early adopters hyperventilate. The rest of us stare at the price tag like it just insulted our mothers. Samsung's new Galaxy Z TriFold fits snugly into this modern tradition, arriving soon at the low low price of $2599. Yes, you read that right. For context, that's roughly equivalent to three PlayStations, four airline tickets to Paris, or twenty seven years of my Netflix subscription. But hey, it folds twice.

We need to talk about how the smartphone industry has become engineering's answer to haute couture. These extravagant prototypes prove companies can make something, not that they should. The TriFold isn't alone in this foldable freakshow circus. Motorola's $1299 Razr regularly breaks if you look at it wrong. Google's Pixel Fold might as well come with a dedicated line item in your household budget. And don't get me started on whatever sci fi nonsense Huawei keeps pumping out.

The human impact here is obvious. Imagine explaining to your teenager why they're getting last year's iPhone instead of Samsung's origami masterpiece. Picture college students pooling loan money just to flex with a flip phone (what timeline is this). Regular people who just want reliable texting and decent photos now face existential angst. Are we peasants if we don't upgrade to tri screened glory?

Here's the brutal hypocrisy nobody discusses. These same companies lecture us about sustainability and accessibility while designing disposable $2600 status symbols. Sustainability reports tout recycled packaging around devices requiring rare earth metals mined by exploited workers. Accessibility initiatives ignore that their flagship product costs half a month's median US salary. It's like a Michelin star chef handing out lentil soup recipes while serving gold flaked steaks.

Consumers aren't blind to this dissonance. Reddit threads overflow with screenshots of TriFold articles captioned 'Who buys this?' TikTok influencers mockingly measure screen space per dollar. Carrier stores will likely see more rubberneckers than buyers. I predict a flood of 'unboxing then immediately returning' YouTube content once this lands.

Let's widen the lens. This isn't just about one absurd phone. It reveals dangerous tech industry trends. First, the normalization of four figure smartphones. Remember when $999 seemed outrageous? Now it's mid range. Second, feature bloat masquerading as innovation. Yes, folding thrice is technically impressive. But does scrolling Instagram across three panes improve anyone's life meaningfully? Third, the widening chasm between tech haves and have nots. Your next phone purchase increasingly signals economic class, not personal preference.

History shows us this movie's ending. Remember 3D TVs? Segway scooters? Google Glass? Radical reinventions flop when priced beyond reason. Even Apple learned this after the $17,000 gold Watch Edition vanished faster than my will to live during crypto bro conversations. The tech graveyard overflows with 'revolutionary' gadgets that forgot humans need to afford groceries.

Where does this leave us? Probably with Samsung selling enough Trilfolds to investors and Saudi princes to justify continuing production. Maybe foldables will follow flatscreens' trajectory, starting as luxury items before becoming mainstream. But I worry we're normalizing gadget dystopia where only the wealthy get cool toys while others make do with cracked screens and existential dread.

The environmental angle deserves its own horror novel. High price doesn't guarantee longevity. Early foldables often break within months. Creating triple hinged monstrosities with specialized components makes repairs nearly impossible. These could become e-waste monuments to our collective folly faster than you can say 'planned obsolescence'.

Perhaps I'm being unfair. Maybe surgeons will use TriFolds to display MRI scans during operations. Maybe stock traders will revolutionize multitasking. But for every legitimate use case, there are ninety nine bored millionaires folding phones at cocktail parties to impress people they dislike.

My advice? Unless you're planning to rob banks with schematics mapped across three screens, save your money. The future will fold itself eventually. Probably around the time Samsung realizes $799 gets more buyers than $2599. Till then, let's laugh nervously at our unfolding reality where tech companies think 'innovate' means 'find new ways to drain bank accounts'.